Mark 9:20-27 And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If you can?’ All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. (ESV)
I completely relate to the contrasting statements made by this father. One moment he is asking Jesus if He is able to heal his son. The next he is declaring his faith that Jesus will heal his son, and the next he is acknowledging that he struggles to keep the faith.
There were times when I was being treated for breast cancer that I would experience these dueling emotions multiple times a day - sometimes multiple times in a single moment. I would declare my trust in the Lord and feel His supernatural peace, only to be gripped by paralyzing fear the very next minute. Then I would go back to square one, confessing in faith my belief that He was healing me, and praying that He would perfect this faith in me.
Perhaps you can identify with this father and with me. Do you have moments where you wonder if God can heal you? Do you have moments when you wonder if He will heal you? Do you stand confidently in the knowledge that He can and will heal, only to fall into despair and doubt? Jesus will meet you there - wherever you are - every moment. Ask Him to give you what you cannot give yourself - complete faith and trust in Him.
In what area of your life do you lack faith to believe that God can move? Take time to write it out in a journal. If you have trouble believing that the impossible is possible, confess that to the Lord.
I admit that there are times that I want to believe, and I know that you are faithful to make even the impossible possible if I would just believe, but I still struggle occasionally. Nevertheless, Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. Even when I find it difficult to believe, You help me in my unbelief. And at these moments I will say in faith, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”